Being a teen is hard, and it's all too easy for teens to be too hard on themselves. Here are some quick tips to help teens, particularly girls, build self-confidence.
The teenage years can be turbulent ones, full of self-doubt and angst at the outside world. It’s normal for things not always to be rosy, but sometimes teens can use a little extra help in building their self-confidence. Doing the things listed below won’t magically improve a teen’s self-esteem – and a teenager with low self-confidence may have trouble doing these things – but making the effort… to smile, to say no in the face of opposition… is important. Acting self-confident is the first step to feeling self-confident.
- Smiling. People like friendly people – it’s that simple. Plus, even a forced smile will lighten up a teen’s own bad mood.
- Good posture. Standing tall not only helps improves how a teenager looks, but it helps a teen feel more secure and puts less stress on the back and shoulders.
- Making eye contact. Sometimes a teenager feels painfully shy, but their look says “Back off!” Meeting another person’s gaze -- whether it’s a cute guy or an interviewer - lets them know a teen is approachable and confident.
- Being bold. Teens have to be willing to put themselves out there – whether in front of the class or at a party. It will get a little easier each time until the teen starts wondering why being in public was ever a big deal.
- Going easy on themselves. Nobody’s perfect, but when teenagers obsess about what’s “wrong” with themselves, they don’t give anyone else a chance to notice all the things that are great. Teens need to remember that almost everyone feels insecure at some point (though not everyone lets on). Self-confidence comes from being able to put a break on that nay-saying voice and and moving on.
- Doing what they love. Parents and teens do not always agree on what the priorities should be. But as long as what a teen is doing is not dangerous, a parent should find ways to support what a teen feels passionate about… or at least to get out of the way and let the teen explore. What better boost to self-esteem than being able to do something one cares about well?
- Preparing for things. Procrastination is a teen’s favorite friend. But life is stressful enough without teens tripping themselves up. It’s hard to feel self-confident when things feel out of control. When teens give themselves enough time to prepare for that big date, study for that test, write that paper, etc., they find that things tend to go much better and more simply. Time management tips can help.
- Being able to walk away, part 1. Sometimes teens who lack self-esteem or have low self-confidence are willing to put themselves in situations that they know aren’t good, just to gain another person’s approval. Teenagers need to learn to stop and trust their cautious side. Teens need to know they can always try things like sex and drinking later, when it’s more appropriate, but if they do something they regret, it can’t be done.
- Being able to walk away, part 2. Some people only give someone the time of day if that person is doing something for them. No teen should be willing to be a doormat. Sure, it might lose them some friends, but those “friends” are not worth the trouble.
Copyright Estela Kennen. Contact the author to obtain permission for republication.
Estela Kennen - Estela is a doctoral student in Public Administration and a freelance writer and editor.
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